I am sharing the public apology I received from someone who lied about me publicly. It is uncommon that someone will write an apology these days, I was not going to post it publicly, however, because I was asked to post it to make sure they know that I know they were truly sorry.
Here is the post they made:
Public apology to Frances and all those that witnessed my poor behavior.
Posted: July 2, 2017 in Uncategorized
This is an open letter to clear Frances’ name and reputation along with being my farewell to Facebook. Let me begin by saying that I’m deeply sorry for bringing our problems to an open forum where some people that are friends, many that I assumed were friends, and family members witness such heinous behavior on my part. Our problems should have never been aired publicly. Facebook can be a great place to stay in contact with friends that are far away but for the most part, it is an arena that damages many relationships, which is why once this letter is posted, I will be removing myself from Facebook permanently.
Granted, Francesca’s relationship with me has been tough at times due to circumstances, mostly because of something she was totally unaware of. Our love for each other has been deep and overly passionate which has led me to overreact and respond via Facebook due to the long distance relationship and Facebook being a way for us to communicate. However, I have loved her with all my heart throughout everything.
I was once in an abusive relationship with a narcissist that caused some psychological damage and that has made me react in unfavorable ways that are out of my control. I am not sure if I can ever heal from what I was subjected to. And this has caused many problems in my relationship with Francesca. When I feel as if the relationship is going sideways, I go on the defense and make nuclear stupid remarks. I might be too broken for a relationship, I don’t know.
I know my excuses for what I have done are meaningless to anyone but this is so I might find some sort of peace within myself. However, I owe Francesca the apology of a lifetime and because of my love for her I have no problem in destroying myself publicly. I do this for her.
Francesca, I apologize for every hurtful thing I have done to you. I do want you to know that nothing hurtful was ever done intentionally. I am the one with the problem and I must find a way to overcome it or just remain alone until I take my last breath. You have been the love of my life for a long time and shall remain so regardless of what the future has in store.
Now, to clear a few things up. Francesca did not embezzle money from Empire as I said in my rampage. There were many circumstances on both sides that caused this accusation, none of which were her fault. What took place was due to what I will expose below and it is what caused things to go completely sideways along with an enormous amount of lack of communication. She thought I was doing something that I wasn’t, and unfortunately, because I couldn’t say anything, my deception made everything go completely sideways. Hopefully, someday she will be able to understand what was really taking place and be able to forgive me.
When Francesca and I first met, I was in a horrible place in my life. She took care of me and helped me get back on my feet. She loved me and I did some crappy things to her that she did not deserve, again, which I will discuss below. She is absolutely the most wonderful woman I have ever met and any man would be lucky to have her heart. I knew that and yet I blew it. I am not a total piece of crap as some of you have concluded; throughout our relationship; we have helped each other in difficult times. All along, we worked on building a business together. She has been my partner (equally) as we built a business for our future together, and didn’t deserve what happened. My overreaction in public damaged the business and don’t know if it’s repairable. It is all my fault and I must deal with it. I was never going to get a lawyer and try to prosecute for embezzlement. Even if it had been true, I wouldn’t have because of my deep love for her.
The fake Christian accusation. I am deeply sorry for this. I know you are a devoted, loving Christian. I made the accusation for two reasons, one to make you feel the hurt I was experiencing, and two, because I whole heatedly believe in forgiveness which I was not seeing from you. However, I understand why because you didn’t know the truth yet. I do give you credit for staying so true to our relationship as long as you did because of my lack of verbal commitment without knowing what was actually taking place. And in all honesty, and even though it pains me to say this, you do deserve someone far better than me.
Francesca, I am sorry that you feel I was exploiting you with all the pictures of you and us on Facebook. I did so because I was never more proud of the woman I love than I have been with you. It wasn’t being exploitative; it was my way of saying, “Look World!!! This is my woman and I love her more than anything.” Yeah, maybe a little egotistical because I was so proud of you, and to me, you are the most beautiful woman in the world.
Now to expose myself for a lie, a secret that caused all the damage.
The Lie of a Lifetime
Before I get into it, I admit that what I did was totally in the wrong, but let me explain why I did what I did. I know that most of you will not understand this and I don’t expect you to understand. I’ve been through one failed relationship after another. Some were my fault, but not all my fault because I tried with everything I had in me. I went through a long marriage that wasn’t all that great and with someone who was stoned 90% of the time. Not a good match for someone that doesn’t do any drugs whatsoever. Shortly afterwards, I was involved in a relationship with a Narcissist that damn near destroyed me. That relationship caused me to have PTSD and become overly cautious, not to mention, events that trigger a self defense mechanism. When my then wife and I split up, we did not rush into a divorce – feeling it would not be good for our daughter if the courts got involved. However, we both went our separate ways at that point, but there was no rush in getting a divorce for the sake of our daughter and figured we would when one of us got into a relationship that could lead to marriage. After my relationship with a narcissist, I made an oath to myself that I would not get married again until the relationship went a term of five years. I figured that during that amount of time if there was a dark side it would surely surface by then. I kept this a secret, but was something that I had to do regardless of how deceitful it was. I fell deeply in love with Francesca and this secret ate me alive every single day. I had created a doomsday lie and wasn’t sure how to get out of it. In my mind, my oath was to stop me from doing something stupid like spontaneously getting married on a drunken night out on the town – and believe me, I can remember at least 20 times I would have walked her into a chapel in Vegas and married her right then and there because I wanted to in the worst way. However, I forced myself to stay true to the oath I made and I knew that if she found out it would be the end of us, which is the last thing I wanted, but I had to be sure that I wouldn’t be making a mistake. We hit the four year mark and I knew for certain she was the one for me, so, I filed for divorce. I honestly thought that I could have the divorce quietly finalized in six months. I had the documents notarized and shipped the off in the mail. Three months later, I received a notice that they had not received the documents and if they didn’t receive them in twenty days the divorce would be dropped and I would have to start over. I panicked. I decided that I would not mail anything again and hand deliver the documents each step of the way. I had to rush back and forth to Arizona several times with each document and make excuses for my visiting there. My stress level and anxiety went through the roof as I tried to pull off and be rid of an enormous lie of my own creation. Francesca began accusing me of going there to have an affair – and I had to take the accusations even though my deception was for us as a couple, our future together and so I could marry her. I made that stupid oath and it put me in a situation that I wanted desperately to be out of. Even though I had lied about being divorced during our relationship, I did plan on telling her once it was finalized and pray to God that she would forgive me and our love was strong enough to survive it. However, I was wrong because it did not, and ironically, our relationship came to an end as the final paperwork was submitted to the court. This is the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I was in the wrong and Karma has taken its toll. If anyone reads this, heed my warning and never lie even if you think it is for the greater good. It will certainly catch up to you and you will suffer the consequences as I am now. I do not ask for your forgiveness because I was completely in the wrong, and when I fell in love with her, there was no correcting my mistake. This is my deepest, darkest secret is now in the open and must live with it. Francesca has claimed that I am a narcissist or a sociopath – but a narc will not do anything to damage his/her ego or reputation – which by posting this letter publicly, I have just annihilated both of mine and why I must go away afterward..
Francesca… I sincerely apologize for everything. You have truly been the most amazing woman ever. When all said and done, I can honestly say that I was lucky to have experienced unconditional love – a true blessing, and one that I will cherish forever.
Before I end this, I want to make a special apology to Francesca’s daughter, Aria. Aria, I am deeply sorry you witnessed my meltdown. In some regards, my emotions are still child-like. I love too deeply and behave like a 17-year-old at times. The thought of losing your mother drove me insane. I was totally in the wrong and I hope you can forgive me someday. Just know this, I have truly loved your mom with all my heart and soul.
Okay… have at it and rip me apart because I deserve it. This is the ultimate in humility and I hope God forgives me for my sin.