Public apology to Frances and all those that witnessed my poor behavior.

I am sharing the public apology I received from someone who lied about me publicly. It is uncommon that someone will write an apology these days, I was not going to post it publicly, however, because I was asked to post it to make sure they know that I know they were truly sorry.

Here is the post they made:

Public apology to Frances and all those that witnessed my poor behavior.

Posted: July 2, 2017 in Uncategorized

This is an open letter to clear Frances’ name and reputation along with being my farewell to Facebook. Let me begin by saying that I’m deeply sorry for bringing our problems to an open forum where some people that are friends, many that I assumed were friends, and family members witness such heinous behavior on my part. Our problems should have never been aired publicly. Facebook can be a great place to stay in contact with friends that are far away but for the most part, it is an arena that damages many relationships, which is why once this letter is posted, I will be removing myself from Facebook permanently.

Granted, Francesca’s relationship with me has been tough at times due to circumstances, mostly because of something she was totally unaware of. Our love for each other has been deep and overly passionate which has led me to overreact and respond via Facebook due to the long distance relationship and Facebook being a way for us to communicate. However, I have loved her with all my heart throughout everything.

I was once in an abusive relationship with a narcissist that caused some psychological damage and that has made me react in unfavorable ways that are out of my control. I am not sure if I can ever heal from what I was subjected to. And this has caused many problems in my relationship with Francesca. When I feel as if the relationship is going sideways, I go on the defense and make nuclear stupid remarks. I might be too broken for a relationship, I don’t know.

I know my excuses for what I have done are meaningless to anyone but this is so I might find some sort of peace within myself. However, I owe Francesca the apology of a lifetime and because of my love for her I have no problem in destroying myself publicly. I do this for her.

Francesca, I apologize for every hurtful thing I have done to you. I do want you to know that nothing hurtful was ever done intentionally. I am the one with the problem and I must find a way to overcome it or just remain alone until I take my last breath. You have been the love of my life for a long time and shall remain so regardless of what the future has in store.

Now, to clear a few things up. Francesca did not embezzle money from Empire as I said in my rampage. There were many circumstances on both sides that caused this accusation, none of which were her fault. What took place was due to what I will expose below and it is what caused things to go completely sideways along with an enormous amount of lack of communication. She thought I was doing something that I wasn’t, and unfortunately, because I couldn’t say anything, my deception made everything go completely sideways. Hopefully, someday she will be able to understand what was really taking place and be able to forgive me.

When Francesca and I first met, I was in a horrible place in my life. She took care of me and helped me get back on my feet. She loved me and I did some crappy things to her that she did not deserve, again, which I will discuss below. She is absolutely the most wonderful woman I have ever met and any man would be lucky to have her heart. I knew that and yet I blew it. I am not a total piece of crap as some of you have concluded; throughout our relationship; we have helped each other in difficult times. All along, we worked on building a business together. She has been my partner (equally) as we built a business for our future together, and didn’t deserve what happened. My overreaction in public damaged the business and don’t know if it’s repairable. It is all my fault and I must deal with it. I was never going to get a lawyer and try to prosecute for embezzlement. Even if it had been true, I wouldn’t have because of my deep love for her.

The fake Christian accusation. I am deeply sorry for this. I know you are a devoted, loving Christian. I made the accusation for two reasons, one to make you feel the hurt I was experiencing, and two, because I whole heatedly believe in forgiveness which I was not seeing from you. However, I understand why because you didn’t know the truth yet. I do give you credit for staying so true to our relationship as long as you did because of my lack of verbal commitment without knowing what was actually taking place. And in all honesty, and even though it pains me to say this, you do deserve someone far better than me.

Francesca, I am sorry that you feel I was exploiting you with all the pictures of you and us on Facebook. I did so because I was never more proud of the woman I love than I have been with you. It wasn’t being exploitative; it was my way of saying, “Look World!!! This is my woman and I love her more than anything.” Yeah, maybe a little egotistical because I was so proud of you, and to me, you are the most beautiful woman in the world.

Now to expose myself for a lie, a secret that caused all the damage.

The Lie of a Lifetime
Before I get into it, I admit that what I did was totally in the wrong, but let me explain why I did what I did. I know that most of you will not understand this and I don’t expect you to understand. I’ve been through one failed relationship after another. Some were my fault, but not all my fault because I tried with everything I had in me. I went through a long marriage that wasn’t all that great and with someone who was stoned 90% of the time. Not a good match for someone that doesn’t do any drugs whatsoever. Shortly afterwards, I was involved in a relationship with a Narcissist that damn near destroyed me. That relationship caused me to have PTSD and become overly cautious, not to mention, events that trigger a self defense mechanism. When my then wife and I split up, we did not rush into a divorce – feeling it would not be good for our daughter if the courts got involved. However, we both went our separate ways at that point, but there was no rush in getting a divorce for the sake of our daughter and figured we would when one of us got into a relationship that could lead to marriage. After my relationship with a narcissist, I made an oath to myself that I would not get married again until the relationship went a term of five years. I figured that during that amount of time if there was a dark side it would surely surface by then. I kept this a secret, but was something that I had to do regardless of how deceitful it was. I fell deeply in love with Francesca and this secret ate me alive every single day. I had created a doomsday lie and wasn’t sure how to get out of it. In my mind, my oath was to stop me from doing something stupid like spontaneously getting married on a drunken night out on the town – and believe me, I can remember at least 20 times I would have walked her into a chapel in Vegas and married her right then and there because I wanted to in the worst way. However, I forced myself to stay true to the oath I made and I knew that if she found out it would be the end of us, which is the last thing I wanted, but I had to be sure that I wouldn’t be making a mistake. We hit the four year mark and I knew for certain she was the one for me, so, I filed for divorce. I honestly thought that I could have the divorce quietly finalized in six months. I had the documents notarized and shipped the off in the mail. Three months later, I received a notice that they had not received the documents and if they didn’t receive them in twenty days the divorce would be dropped and I would have to start over. I panicked. I decided that I would not mail anything again and hand deliver the documents each step of the way. I had to rush back and forth to Arizona several times with each document and make excuses for my visiting there. My stress level and anxiety went through the roof as I tried to pull off and be rid of an enormous lie of my own creation. Francesca began accusing me of going there to have an affair – and I had to take the accusations even though my deception was for us as a couple, our future together and so I could marry her. I made that stupid oath and it put me in a situation that I wanted desperately to be out of. Even though I had lied about being divorced during our relationship, I did plan on telling her once it was finalized and pray to God that she would forgive me and our love was strong enough to survive it. However, I was wrong because it did not, and ironically, our relationship came to an end as the final paperwork was submitted to the court. This is the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I was in the wrong and Karma has taken its toll. If anyone reads this, heed my warning and never lie even if you think it is for the greater good. It will certainly catch up to you and you will suffer the consequences as I am now. I do not ask for your forgiveness because I was completely in the wrong, and when I fell in love with her, there was no correcting my mistake. This is my deepest, darkest secret is now in the open and must live with it. Francesca has claimed that I am a narcissist or a sociopath – but a narc will not do anything to damage his/her ego or reputation – which by posting this letter publicly, I have just annihilated both of mine and why I must go away afterward..

Francesca… I sincerely apologize for everything. You have truly been the most amazing woman ever. When all said and done, I can honestly say that I was lucky to have experienced unconditional love – a true blessing, and one that I will cherish forever.

Before I end this, I want to make a special apology to Francesca’s daughter, Aria. Aria, I am deeply sorry you witnessed my meltdown. In some regards, my emotions are still child-like. I love too deeply and behave like a 17-year-old at times. The thought of losing your mother drove me insane. I was totally in the wrong and I hope you can forgive me someday. Just know this, I have truly loved your mom with all my heart and soul.

 

Okay… have at it and rip me apart because I deserve it. This is the ultimate in humility and I hope God forgives me for my sin.

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If You Fail At Answering These 50 Questions, You’re Not As Serious As You Think — Thought Catalog

Unsplash, Agberto Guimaraes1. What’s the name of his boss? 2. How often does he shave? 3. How many cousins does he have? 4. What’s his favorite Disney movie? 5. What’s his go-to karaoke song? 6. Does he prefer the rain or the snow? 7. Is he a dog person or a cat person? 8. What hospital was he born in? 9. Which bar or restaurant…

via If You Fail At Answering These 50 Questions, You’re Not As Serious As You Think — Thought Catalog

What Happened to all the Nice Guys?

Empire Publishing

What happened to all the Nice Guys? Next to the subject of Global Warming, this has been one of the most debated topics in recent history, and to be honest, men are fed up with it. Ladies, you asked, but you are not going to like the answer. The brutal truth is, you drove them away, cast them to the side, and now all you have remaining are the leftovers. Women singled handedly killed the “Nice Guy,” and yet they have the audacity to complain that there are no “Nice Guys” available for them.

Before going ape-shit insane and start cursing at me for pointing out that fact, and it is true, let’s look at the subject more closely. Any man that has experienced true love, only to have his heart pulverized by the woman that he thought he would spend his life with will know what I am talking…

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Spiritual Warfare Is Real!

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Spiritual Warfare Is Real

Spiritual Warfare is real. And every Born Again Believer needs to realize this, especially if they desire to live the abundant life Jesus died to give them. Who else has died for your eternal soul? Although we live in a physical, natural world there is an unseen spiritual world that is just as real as the world we can see with our eyes. Within the spiritual word there is an age ancient battle going on between good and evil; God and Satan. Who is Satan? I am amazed at how many people I meet that claim they are a Christian that have no clue about the Spiritual battles that are happening even in very own lives. Many people know of the devil and think of someone with horns and a tail and carrying a pitchfork. Or they may think he is in hell tormenting the evil people who live there. But I am going to explain a bit more about whom the devil our adversary really is.

Satan meaning Adversary is the fallen angel Lucifer. Lucifer is a created being and he was God’s most beautiful Angel. It is believed by some Scripture that Lucifer was the first Angel God made. Because of his beauty he became extraordinarily prideful and thought he should be worshiped. He desired to be admired and wanted all of Gods Glory and power. He became the father of all Narcissists. And later he became the god of this earth, as well as the first and second heavens. Thousands of years ago, Lucifer gathered one third of all the angels in heaven who stood with him and attempted a coup to usurp God. The failing result of this rebellion resulted in God casting Lucifer and his band of rebel angels out of the third heaven which according to Scripture is where God resides. (2 Corinthians 12:2) They still have dominion over the first heaven which is the atmosphere above the earth (outer atmosphere) which is the second heaven and that is where the stars and planets are located. Lucifer became known by many names throughout the Bible; Satan/the devil/ the old serpent/the dragon/ the god of this world/ the prince of the power of the air/the father of lies/ a thief, etc, and those fallen angels who were cast out with him are known as demons or evil spirits. The Bible shows that Satan is the influence, manipulator, deceiver and motivator behind all that is evil and sinful. He is an evil being not a personality trait such as our ego as many believe. He has the power to possess those who are not Born Again or indwelled by the Holy Spirit of God and blind them to the truth of God’s word and the love of Jesus Christ. Our mind is often time controlled by Satan and his army of demons, which is why Joyce Meyer says “The mind is battlefield.”

Satan (once called Lucifer) can oppress us and influence our thoughts and attitudes, and deceive people and particularly those people with power, so that he can deceive nations. These fallen angels or demons also have the ability to influence, manipulate, oppress and possess people. The Bible refers to them as “principalities, powers, rulers of darkness, and spiritual hosts of wickedness in heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12) God tells His children (Born Again Believers) to put on the whole armor of God that “we may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” If they Spiritual warfare did not really exist we would not need to stand against this would we? “Put on the whole armor of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God that ye may be able to withstand the evil day, and having done all to stand. Stand therefore having your loins girt about with truth and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, that the shield of faith wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fire darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6: 10-17)

Satan, and his army of demons who I will refer to as the enemy; know that they have been defeated by Jesus Christ at the cross; they know that their eternal destiny is going to be spent in the eternal lake of fire and their time is running short. However, until Jesus Christ returns to earth to set up His earthly and binds Satan for 1000 year the enemy has spiritual dominion over this earth to do with as he pleases. Adam and Eve unsuspectingly gave Satan spiritual dominion over the earth when he disobeyed God bringing sin into the world as a result of Satan possessing a snake in the Garden of Eden and deceiving Eve. Because just as God said, they would die if they ate of the fruit of this tree, so the sin of being disobedient to God resulted in death. The first recoded death was the lamb that was killed to clothe Adam and Eve’s nakedness. You see, they were innocent until the y received the knowledge from the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

Adam and Eve were Gods chosen special children, who were created to be God’s companions and live forever; so long as they always had reverence and respect for His one and only command. They died an immediate spiritual death, in that the personal relationship that they had enjoyed with God in the Garden ended because sin separates us from God. They were cast out of God’s Garden and a curse was put upon them and the earth. They began to physically age and eventually die.
“And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” (2 Cor 4:3-4) ”

Jesus said this: “You are of [your] father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own [resources], for he is a liar and the father of it.” (John 8:44)

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)

“The thief [The devil/Satan] does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and that they may have [it] more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

“So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.” (Rev 12:9)

“He laid hold of the dragon, that serpent of old, who is the Devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years;” (Rev 20:2 )

“The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet [are]. And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” (Rev 20:10)

“And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.” (2 Cr 11:14)

“To open their eyes, [and] to turn [them] from darkness to light, and [from] the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.” (Acts 26:18)

Born again believers who have received the Holy Spirit cannot be possessed because the Holy Spirit of God dwells in them, however, they can be oppressed and depressed by the enemy though their manipulation of our thought and attitudes though our mind. Any time we have negative thoughts, feelings or attitudes they are coming from the oppression of the enemy. The fruits of the Holy Spirit are only positive, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Gal 5:22).

So because we all have days when we need an “attitude adjustment” and if we have a bad attitude or negative thoughts we need to be able to recognize them as being the wearing out tactics of Satan and his demons and quickly rebuke them and change our thought pattern and attitude. Because the demons hate God, the enemy’s goal is to keep as many people out of heaven as possible. They want to hurt God and God’s Kingdom. They know God created us to be His eternal companions and that He loves us and wants all people to come to repentance and be reconciled with Him through the atoning blood of Jesus so that none are eternally separated from Him. The enemy’s goal is keep that from happening. For those of us who have already committed our life to Jesus the enemies goal is to keep us so busy that we don’t have time for God, and to keep our focus on ourselves instead of Jesus who is the source of our strength and victory over the enemy. He will do everything he can to destroy or neutralize our testimony by tempting us to fall into sin which removes us from under God’s protective wings and opens us up to the enemy’s games of manipulation. Where his only intention is to destroy us. Satan wants to steal our peace and joy and the abundant life that Jesus died to give us. But the devil only has as much authority over born again believers as we give him. We need all have to learn how to stop him in his tracks and defeat the enemy. When you have struggles in your finances or in your relationships, or in your job place, or with your health, these are all attacks of the enemy. DO you see that God gave us power to overthrow him, by giving us the holy Spirit which could have only come to us through the birth, death and resurrection of Christ. Praise to Him for He gives us the victory!

This subject is so vast and would take pages and pages to explain thoroughly, however I felt it was important enough to share here as I know that many Christians are being defeated daily, by surrendering to the enemy tactics. Take authority over your life in the Mighty Name of Jesus and rebuke that devil right out of your affairs.

I have had personal experience with the enemy, on many occasions, he really doesn’t like us Big Mouth types that are going to spill the beans on him. Well the cat is out of the bag now and there is nothing he can do about it. Although he has tried, he will fail. Evil never prevails over Goodness! I want to share what God has taught me so that you too can learn to be victorious and live in God’s Peace

As Simple As That

Yes! God IS Love. If someone doesnt truly love God – they have no fruit. Their tree is bare. That is how to recognize a true narc. Look for the fruit – that only Love (God) can produce in a persons life.

Grace for my Heart

What if it is all really simple? What if we could put our whole relationship with God in just a few simple words? What if all our deepest questions about God and our spiritual lives could be answered by two simple concepts? Well, try these:

Love is what God is.
Grace is what God does.

Oh, sure, I could complicate those much farther. I could wrap theological words around them to make your head spin. But it all seems to boil down to those two statements.

I didn’t say love is god. That’s not what the Bible says. The Bible says that God is love. As far as you and I are concerned, everything about God is love toward us.

And I didn’t say anything about the acts of grace we do for each other or some kind of gracious behavior among us. I am saying that everything God toward…

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Jonah – The Reluctant Prophet

I enjoyed this blog

Jonah was a Man of God and a second generation prophet. Amittai his father was a prophet from Gath-hepher during the reign of kingJeroboam II (786-746 BC). God used Amittai immensely and the same would have been expected of his son Jonah. Since his childhood Jonah would have experienced the Grace and Power of God and gotten to know Him personally.

The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” But Jonah ranaway from theLordand headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa,where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from theLord.− Jonah 1:1-3

Jonah MapNineveh is a mere 500 miles from Jonah’s hometown of Gath-hepher but he choose the journey to Tarshish which was about…

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